Checking In

Let's first start by seeing how your week is going! Have you been trying to find balance and set the important priorities in your life? What have you been doing personally to focus on this week's goal?

I have been successful at making lists each day with the things I would like to accomplish. Granted, thus far, I have yet to complete an entire list, but it has helped me see what I need to do and keeps it fresh in my mind. I am spending less time being an internet junkie and more time on finding peace with myself. I have a lot more to do to improve things, but at least I am heading in the right direction. I have been thinking a lot about my goals, and am going to be writing then out for all to see sometime in the near future in hopes that you will continue to encourage me to reach those goals and to be a support to anyone who may be having similar goals set. I think I am going to do a weekly challenge like this every Sunday. That way we can all start off a fresh week with a new idea to focus on to help us achieve balance in life. I know of one person who has taken up this challenge, but still haven't heard from anyone else......are you in?

In other news, I had my second doctor appointment with the fertility specialist. Remember just last week when I mentioned that I am not sure if I am ready for all this? Well, turns out I was certainly not ready to hear everything that I was told at my appointment yesterday. I don't want to go into too many personal details, but send me an email or call me if you really want to know more, BUT only do so if you are going to be able to be a support for me through all of this because it is a hard battle that I can not do alone and personally I don't want to share everything with someone who I can't count on to be there for me when I need help.

Have you ever had so many imperfections pointed out about yourself that you wonder 1)why no other doctor has ever mentioned the issues before 2)how you can possibly go on having high self esteem and 3)how much lower on life's scale can you possibly go when you thought you were already at the bottom? Turns out that my case of infertility/health issues doesn't just begin and stop at endometriosis. At this point I have about 9, yes I said NINE, different issues that have to been looked at seriously before we even tackle the endometriosis issue head on....I knew that going to this amazing doctor would be a step in the right direction and give me closure, but I never knew there would be so much to worry about. I have about two days ahead of me where I will be in and out of the labs getting blood and urine work performed to rule out and/or pin point certain areas that may be EXTREME areas to tackle. To give you an idea of some of the things that are alarming in my body I have a thyroid that is double the size it should be, a heart murmur, possibly hypoglycimia, ect. Hopefully all these test I have to go through will be ruling out the issues instead of diagnoising the issue....but to be positive about it is sometimes quite difficult.

The positive of all this: 1)at least I will know what other difficulities I will have in life with my body 2)we will be able to determine if in fact it is safe for me to conceive and carry a full term baby without serious medical and life threatening risks to myself or the baby 3)complete closer!!

I want to blog about all of this so that you guys know what I am going through...I do not do it for sympothy. My hope is to give you a small insight into what my life really is like, beyond two adorable babies, a husband that is amazing and a million and one pictures! A lifestyle change is in the works, that is for sure! Maybe I will be down to those dreamed size 6 pants in a few years...after-all, change is coming!

It is comforting to come home to a husband who has bought a card and flowers for comfort, who holds you and just let's you cry on his shoulder and who is starting to see some of the real stresses in my life. I love my JoJo with all my heart and am so blessed to have him here with me to give me reassurance that we are making the right choices and doing the right things. I also have an amazing mom and dad. Mother's intuition is so strong and I am glad that she can know when to call, send flowers and be a comforter to me, even though we are so far away. I am truly blessed, even though my trials are tough and difficult to bear I am surrounded by love and that is what has been getting me through the last two days! Much love to you all! PEACE