If I told you that I suffering from exhaustion, would you believe me? Somedays I honestly think that I am....
Calvin has never really been a good sleeper at night. It use to be (about three or four weeks ago) that he woke up 4-5 time during the night, when I would normally be sleeping. Now, he wakes up 2-4 times at night, but he still doesn't sleep very well. I have tried everything I can think...yet he still thinks that he needs to be fed, and comforted at all hours of the night...did you notice what time this is posted?
About a week ago, I decided I was going to start working on the "Cry it out, sooth yourself" method. So, everytime he cried at night, I would wait a few minutes before going down to his nursery to give him his binky or a little milk then leave. If he continued to cry after i left, I would wait a little longer and go back down. I didn't really notice a huge difference in his sleeping, I just felt like a mean mommy for letting my baby cry. I have the hardest time not going to comfort him when he cries.....really, it is tough....but everything I have read and things I have heard from friends is that it is okay. The other night I was soooo tired, that when he woke up crying (after only being in bed for maybe 2 hours) I just went back to sleep....a few hours later I woke up to his crying again and thought "oh no, did I let him cry? I wonder how long he cried for?" I hastily went down to check on him and found that he was perfectly fine. Relief! I didn't feel bad, that was when I started feeling okay with the whole crying concept. Tonight, I gave him one chance....one time I would go down there and comfort him, but after that one time (whenever it might be) I would let him cry it out. This is the one time...hopefully! I will have to tell you how I did. I just went down, fed him a little (although he wasn't hungry much), rocked him until he was calm, laid him down and left the room) Not too soon after I left, he started crying....which is when I came up here to the computer, checked my facebook, the news, and started writing this post. He cried about ten minutes, and then stopped. I went down to check on him, just to make sure he was actually asleep, and realized...maybe I can handle the cry it out now. I am stronger, he will survive and I need sleep! Seriously, because of his lack of sleeping at night, we usually don't get our day going until 11-12 (on a good day) and by then, I have no motivation to do anything through the whole day.
Now I know that many of you have ideas, thoughts and opinions on this, and I am begging for your advice. Am i doing the right thing? Is he too young to start this method? Should I try something different?
Just to let you know, before bed, he gets a 6-7oz bottle w/cereal, usually a bath to sooth, and is rocked lovingly by his daddy or myself. Diaper is always clean, heat is on, as well as his Primary songs.
Should I let him cry it out during the day when it is nap time as well??
*************************************************
Here is what happened:
After I posted this, I tried to go back to bed. I couldn't, however, fall back asleep for the life of me. So back to the computer i went....I played a few games on Yahoo! during which time Calvin woke up crying again. Since I was distracted by the games, I just listened closely to make sure he wasn't choking or something...after about 30 minutes of crying, he went right to sleep. I went to check on him, and he was there, laying on his side making sweet little baby noises.
I finally fell asleep around 3:30am and woke up to crying at 4:30. I laid there for about 20 minutes to see if he would put himself to sleep, then nudged Joel and told him to go calm Calvin. I don't really wake Joel up that much, but if I am too tired to even think, he comes into play. He went down, fed him, and binkied him, and then back to bed for all of us. Calvin woke up at 7:30am....he stayed awake for about a 45minutes, and is now sleeping. I wish I could be sleeping too, but I have to get ready to go to work, which means I will have to wake him up, get him dressed, and make him mad! LOVE IT!!
Calvin has never really been a good sleeper at night. It use to be (about three or four weeks ago) that he woke up 4-5 time during the night, when I would normally be sleeping. Now, he wakes up 2-4 times at night, but he still doesn't sleep very well. I have tried everything I can think...yet he still thinks that he needs to be fed, and comforted at all hours of the night...did you notice what time this is posted?
About a week ago, I decided I was going to start working on the "Cry it out, sooth yourself" method. So, everytime he cried at night, I would wait a few minutes before going down to his nursery to give him his binky or a little milk then leave. If he continued to cry after i left, I would wait a little longer and go back down. I didn't really notice a huge difference in his sleeping, I just felt like a mean mommy for letting my baby cry. I have the hardest time not going to comfort him when he cries.....really, it is tough....but everything I have read and things I have heard from friends is that it is okay. The other night I was soooo tired, that when he woke up crying (after only being in bed for maybe 2 hours) I just went back to sleep....a few hours later I woke up to his crying again and thought "oh no, did I let him cry? I wonder how long he cried for?" I hastily went down to check on him and found that he was perfectly fine. Relief! I didn't feel bad, that was when I started feeling okay with the whole crying concept. Tonight, I gave him one chance....one time I would go down there and comfort him, but after that one time (whenever it might be) I would let him cry it out. This is the one time...hopefully! I will have to tell you how I did. I just went down, fed him a little (although he wasn't hungry much), rocked him until he was calm, laid him down and left the room) Not too soon after I left, he started crying....which is when I came up here to the computer, checked my facebook, the news, and started writing this post. He cried about ten minutes, and then stopped. I went down to check on him, just to make sure he was actually asleep, and realized...maybe I can handle the cry it out now. I am stronger, he will survive and I need sleep! Seriously, because of his lack of sleeping at night, we usually don't get our day going until 11-12 (on a good day) and by then, I have no motivation to do anything through the whole day.
Now I know that many of you have ideas, thoughts and opinions on this, and I am begging for your advice. Am i doing the right thing? Is he too young to start this method? Should I try something different?
Just to let you know, before bed, he gets a 6-7oz bottle w/cereal, usually a bath to sooth, and is rocked lovingly by his daddy or myself. Diaper is always clean, heat is on, as well as his Primary songs.
Should I let him cry it out during the day when it is nap time as well??
*************************************************
Here is what happened:
After I posted this, I tried to go back to bed. I couldn't, however, fall back asleep for the life of me. So back to the computer i went....I played a few games on Yahoo! during which time Calvin woke up crying again. Since I was distracted by the games, I just listened closely to make sure he wasn't choking or something...after about 30 minutes of crying, he went right to sleep. I went to check on him, and he was there, laying on his side making sweet little baby noises.
I finally fell asleep around 3:30am and woke up to crying at 4:30. I laid there for about 20 minutes to see if he would put himself to sleep, then nudged Joel and told him to go calm Calvin. I don't really wake Joel up that much, but if I am too tired to even think, he comes into play. He went down, fed him, and binkied him, and then back to bed for all of us. Calvin woke up at 7:30am....he stayed awake for about a 45minutes, and is now sleeping. I wish I could be sleeping too, but I have to get ready to go to work, which means I will have to wake him up, get him dressed, and make him mad! LOVE IT!!
7 comments:
Oh Lila - I could have written your post. We are going through exactly the same thing. Rowan has been waking up every hour and I think a little of it has to do with the fact that he is getting molars. Other than that, he's just a smart baby and knows if he cries, mommy will come nurse him. A couple nights ago, I found myself crying and resenting being a mother. I know it sounds horrible, but I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. I always told myself I wouldn't let him CIO, but last night I'd had enough. I let him cry for 10 minutes or so and then went and put his pacifier back in his mouth. I can't let him cry too much in our apartment though because we are on the middle floor and I know the people below and above us have kids. I don't want Rowan waking them up. After a REAAAALY long hour last night, I gave in and nursed him. He woke up 5 other times and I nursed him every time. I was too tired to fight it and because we are in an apartment I can hear him crying no matter where I'm at. I'm at a little bit of a loss at what to do because Chandler slept through the night at 2 months and we never had a problem. Rowan will be a year old next month and has never slept longer than a 4 hour stretch. Just know that you aren't alone. I don't really like the CIO method but am quickly becoming a fan. I think that if all of their needs are met, I don't see any harm in it.
Though I don't have any great advice for you, know you aren't alone. Some days I am a walking zombie and have to go to the store to get a coke to help me function. It stinks. What we do for our kids, right? Hang in there....(((BIG HUGE HUGS)))
Poor Lila. This day comes for EVERY parent so don't feel badly at all. I had to go through this with Dean and Eli and, you know what? I LOVE the cry-it-out method. It only took one night with Dean and only two or three with Eli. Just remember every child is different. I have to admit, I was so unhealthy with fatigue (which I later found out was my thyroid) with Eli that I actually started to resent him a little when he woke me up at night...so I agree, it's hard. You love them and want to do what's best but can only run on empty so long. I am a big believer in the fact that they never HAVE to sleep through the night for the first several months because of feedings so by the time their bodies are capable, the just don't know how. He will be a happier baby once he starts making it all the way through the night and you will be a MUCH happier Mommy. I do have to say, also, the early-to-bed,later-to-rise rule also applied with Eli. We were putting him to bed at 8:30 with Dean at first, but switched them both to 8:00 and all was improved. Eli actually does best with 7-7:30 most nights, so you can always try adjusting bedtimes.
Good luck. :o)
I am a total believer of crying it out. Nathan slept through the night from 9:30 to 5 when he was 6 weeks old. Then, he got progressively worse and started waking up 3-4 times a night again. Like you, I was getting so annoyed, and I really need my sleep. So, when Nathan was 4 months, he cried it out. It took him 3-4 nights and the first night he cried for about 2 hours. I did go and check on him during that time but I didn't feed him or anything just told him to go back to sleep. I had been letting Nathan cry for his naps since he was about two months old which I found was a bit easier because at least I wasn't as tired then. You can do it! You and he will be better off for it! I also agree with the comment of early to bed, late to rise. Make sure he is getting enough sleep during the day, and put him down before it's too late. Our magic time was 7:30-8. GOOD LUCK!
http://theworldofjenbrown.blogspot.com/2008/11/good-news.html
My friend had a baby in June, and this is the method she uses. It is a little more involved than just letting him cry it out, but it seems like a really good method. Read it and see if is something you might like to try...you might have to look up the exact method on google or something, but it seemed to woek for her, and helped her baby figure out how to fall back to sleep.
MJ
Like everyone else, we've all been through it. At some point it becomes a power struggle of who's in charge. I did it with Ainsleigh, she would fall asleep in arms, then wake back up and want to be held again - for hours. The "books" say do it at night and they'll adapt to daytime, but she was the opposite I did it during the day first, and yes at least half a dozen times I had to let her cry for more than an hour - but it worked. She learned to soothe herself to sleep in her own crib. She also really liked the ceiling players, but that's unique to every child too. It's hard, but it's worth it or you'll be doing this for the next 2-3 years - nobody can do that. Also, we've noticed even now Ainsleigh wakes up (and comes up to our bed) if she has gotten cold, we have to pile blankets on her so she won't kick them all off, I know she's much older now but the coldness thing has always been an issue for her. Good luck.
Hey Lila, Mind you my baby is only 7 weeks old. But the CIO method just is not good in our home. From my experience, I have found with my baby if I let him cry he gets more and more upset and then he awakes up more then he gets really pissed off and it he takes it to a new level of upsetness until he finally goes to sleep...ya didn't like that at all-of course I only tried it once but I couldn't handle that sadness! However, I have found when I hear him start to whimper, I run into him before he has completely waken himself up and I put a pacifier in his mouth, I put the palm of my hand on his cheek and the other on his chest to soothe him and let him know I am there and then sit there for a few minutes and slowly release my touch and he is out. This has really helped out and has eliminated 2 midnight feedings. Anyways, I know it is hard and every baby responds differently. Hopefully you will get a technique down for little Calvin and stay functional until it starts to work!! :)
Don't know if my child-less opinion matters here, but I am 110% in favor of the letting them self soothe and cry it out.
We all have to learn to fall asleep on our own sometime, and putting it off will only make it harder on them.
I babysat all growing up for a mother who believed in this method, so all summer long I put the babies down for a nap after three stories and a song whether they were asleep or not, maybe that's why i see myself doing the same.
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